Ovechkin breaking the goal record from his office against the Islanders was the perfect way to end the chase

It was awesome to see him score from his office against the Islanders... Ovie was like, 'fuck it, I know it's at home [and I don't want an empty netter]'. He did it perfectly. That shot has been happening for 20 years. Nobody's ever figured out how to stop it. He did it from his office.

Alex Ovechkin's mom is terrifying and could definitely beat me up

His mom, I'm terrified of Ovie's mom by the way. I think she could beat the fuck outta me. Probably, yeah.

Duke's loss to Houston was the biggest choke in Final Four history

Duke's downfall for four hours, but like, sign me up. I'll take off my pants right now. 'cause that was, holy fuck. Was that an incredible Final Four delivered... Duke biggest choke in Final Four history. Best team ever analytically... They're the only team to, to have a higher field goal. Percentage more free throw attempts, more assists, fewer turnovers, more steals and lose in the history of the NCAA tournament.

The Brewers' pressure created their 'lucky' breaks

That's not luck. That's just the Brewers and what they did to you mentally, where it's like you have to be perfect and almost made teams just become a worse version of themselves because of what the Brewers were doing to them.

The Bears are building around Jeffrey Simmons correctly

Jeffrey Simmons is an absolute game wrecker. Top three at his position, changes everyone around him. The Bears had a weakness in their defense, especially run defense. They made it a strength.

Jeffrey Simmons makes the Bears Super Bowl contenders

I thought they could win the Super Bowl before Jeffrey Simmons. Now I really do.