Matthew Stafford basically has no backup because he never goes out of games

As far as I'm concerned, Matt Stafford just never has a backup quarterback. Maybe Dan Orlovsky. But he never goes out. No, even when Matt Stafford has an elbow injury, he'll limp off the field. He just registers pain as being like, oh, I can't walk.

Combining Paxton Lynch and Geno Smith would only equal a quarter of Russell Wilson's talent

If you combined Paxton Lynch and Geno Smith's powers, they would be like one quarter of Russell Wilson.

David Montgomery is the greatest running back in history

David Montgomery is the greatest running back I've ever seen in my life.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.