Rob Gronkowski is a cheat code and no one can guard him

Basically, you just keep throwing it to Gronk because Gronk's a cheat coach. No one can guard Gronk.

The Jaguars are a for-real team and people shouldn't sleep on them

I'm pumped because I think the Jags, like, people sleep on the Jags, and I know we laugh at them because their franchise has been pretty much a comedy of errors. But they're a for-real team.

The Jaguars defense is the best in the NFL

That defense is probably the best defense in the NFL. Like, no joke. It's them, it's the Vikings, and then there's a pretty big drop-off after that.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.