Austin Reaves is the true alpha on the Lakers

But the real story outta that game was Austin Reaves. Yeah. Austin Reaves. AKA him. He is him.

Spencer Dinwiddie's career might be over after being nicknamed 'Dinshiddie'

This was his first game since Kyle Kuzma called him Dinshiddie, which is a great, great nickname... and he wasn't good... I don't wanna overstate it, but when you get called Dinshiddie, it might be a wrap.

The replacement of Sierra Mist with Starry is a handout to 'Big Corn'

This does feel like a Biden special... This is a big handout to Big corn. Yeah. To the corn syrup market. Because Sierra Mist was made with real sugar while Starry uses high fructose corn syrup.

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in four games

Yeah. I mean it's, it is over Knicks in four. It's over.

Victor Wembanyama is a disappointment if he doesn't win seven championships

He has to win a minimum seven championships... has to. If he doesn't, disappointment.

Carlos Alcaraz and Jannik Sinner are going to have sex with each other because of their mutual respect

These guys are gonna fuck if they haven't fucked already. Holy shit. They're, they respect each other so much as competitors and as rivals, they're going to fuck each other. It's not even a question.