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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

If the Washington Nationals had even slightly below-average pitching, they would be the best team in baseball.

The Nationals have the best offense in baseball. It's insane what they've done. Like with a young group like this, everybody thought that they would be absolute dog shit this year. If they had slightly below average pitching, they would be the best team in baseball. But they've got atrocious pitching.

Subjective opinion on how good the Nationals would be with hypothetical better pitching.

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Win
May 26, 2026
#30569
MemesMemes

The New York Knicks are currently the best team in the NBA

I don't think I've ever been able to say this. Knicks are the best team in the NBA.

The Knicks reached the Finals in this timeline, giving the claim strong current-moment validity.
Void
May 26, 2026
#30568
Big CatBig Cat

Kenny Atkinson's 'expected wins' quote is the biggest loser quote in professional sports history.

Kenny Atkinson, the coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers said after they were down 3-0 in the series that analytically they've won two of the games. If you look at the shot quality, if you look at the expected wins, they've won two of the games. Now, I don't want to be hyperbolic here, but I think that is the biggest loser quote that has ever been uttered in professional sports. I do not understand, find me a bigger loser quote than that.

Subjective opinion on the lameness of a coach's quote.
Void
May 26, 2026
#30570
Big CatBig Cat

The New York Knicks have the best home court advantage in the entire NBA playoffs

They [Knicks] are so fucking good. And they have the best home court in the entire playoffs. And their fans, I don't know if they'll be able, I don't know if they'll go to OKC or San Antonio, but they take over every arena.

Subjective fan atmosphere metric.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.