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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

It's a good sign when a football coach sleeps in the office because it shows they are working nonstop

I do love it when football coaches sleep in the office. It's the only job in America where I think if you just work nonstop at it, people assume that you're getting better at your job. But not the case for football coaches. They need to keep working. Not enough hours in the day.

This is a commentary on the culture of the NFL and the perception of coaches like Bill O'Brien.

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Win
Sep 21, 2016
#17216
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Mike McCarthy cycles play-calling duties annually just to avoid being held accountable for failure

Every year I feel like Mike McCarthy either gives up play calling or gets play calling back. If you move the play calling stick around, then nobody's really at fault.

McCarthy did frequently toggle play-calling duties in Green Bay during his tenure.
Loss
Sep 21, 2016
#17217
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Carson Wentz will look like a deflated Ben Roethlisberger in two years

Carson Wentz strikes me as the kind of guy that's going to get fat later, though... Two years from now, Carson Wentz is going to look like a slightly deflated and less aggressive Ben Roethlisberger.

While Wentz's play declined significantly, he did not particularly 'get fat' or look like Ben Roethlisberger by 2018.
Void
Sep 21, 2016
#27652
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Switching to 1% milk after a heart attack is the ultimate football guy move

Switching to 1% milk after a heart attack... That is the most football guy move of all time because there are like a million other things. I agree with Urban Meyer. Don't spend more time with your family. Don't maybe knock out fast food, but take it down from 2% to 1%.

The take is a satirical observation about Urban Meyer's lifestyle choices after his health scare.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.