Kyle Schwarber is the greatest home run hitter in the game

Kyle Schwarber is the man. What a monster. Three swings, three dongs, three no-doubters. He hit three home runs in three swings, absolute monsters. He's the best. I fucking love him forever.

Aaron Judge showed bad leadership by leaving the All-Star Game early

Bad leadership by Aaron Judge at the All Star Game. [Ohtani and Judge] were probably on a plane... it did feel like the National League manager was trying to win harder than the American League manager.

Every baseball game should be decided by a swing-off

I like the swing off. The end of game is great. I want everything decided by swing offs now. Regular season baseball games swing off... child custody hearings swing off.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.