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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kevin Durant lost his man card for spitting out a beer while celebrating

All the money in the world, all the championships in the world, they can't buy you back your man card. So he was in the locker room afterwards celebrating, took a sip of beer, and just spit it out all over himself.

Whether one 'loses a man card' over a beer spit-take is entirely subjective and a comedy bit.

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Void
Jun 14, 2017
#2663
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James is still the best player in the NBA

I just want it on the record that I do still think LeBron is the best player in the NBA, but what Kevin Durant did in the finals was fantastic.

Subjective ranking of players at their peak.
Void
Jun 14, 2017
#27018
Big CatBig Cat

The 2017 Golden State Warriors are not the greatest team of all time

Are the Warriors one of the best teams in NBA history? Are they GOAT? Are they the GOAT? No, they're not. I think three-year stretch, they're up there. Only winning two out of three probably hurts them.

Legacy rankings are inherently subjective.
Win
Jun 14, 2017
#27019
Big CatBig Cat

Kevin Durant will take a pay cut to stay with the Warriors

Is KD going to take less money? Yes.

Kevin Durant signed a two-year deal with the Warriors in July 2017 for approximately $10 million less than his maximum possible salary to allow the team to retain Andre Iguodala and Shaun Livingston.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.