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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Kickers are mental midgets and need to be afraid of their head coach to succeed

Kickers are mental midgets. Can we say that? Mental. You need to have the, oh shit, I'm probably gonna get killed by my head coach if I don't make this kick. And Sark was just like doing the I love you man... His hair... I got a lot of people saying the hair's too much for a kicker. I don't disagree. You don't wanna stand out at all if you're a kicker.

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Jan 3, 2025
#2433
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The SEC is dead and the effectiveness of first-round byes is over in the CFP

The SEC is dead. So is byes. Byes are dead. Byes are dead. Byes are dead. The rest versus rust has been settled. The SEC is dead.

While SEC teams were eliminated early, claiming the conference is 'dead' is a subjective hyperbole.
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Jan 3, 2025
#20949
Big CatBig Cat

College football is back following an incredible slate of quarterfinal games

Texas-Arizona State was an instant classic. Notre Dame-Georgia had some good drama. College football might be back.

This is a subjective assessment of the entertainment value of a sports season.
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Jan 3, 2025
#20950
Big CatBig Cat

Boise State's lack of urgency at the end of the Penn State game was sad

The end of the game was a little sad by Boise State where they were just trying to get him [Ashton Jeanty] the record instead. I know they were down 17 and there's probably no chance, but running on first down with two and a half minutes left was a little sad. They had no urgency to try to cover the spread.

Subjective opinion on coaching strategy and team priorities.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.