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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

LeVar Ball's plan is just to get a billion dollar contract for himself using his kids

He's reached the point where everything that he says is picked up by every media source possible. So he knows that no matter what comes out of his mouth it's going to be distributed nationwide and that's kind of his plan right? He wants to develop the brand he wants to have a high profile so his kids can get a billion or sorry so that he can get a billion dollar contract. And then his kids will get a little taste of that.

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Win
Mar 17, 2017
#6372
Big CatBig Cat

Vanderbilt's late-game foul against Northwestern was the dumbest move since Chris Webber's timeout

Northwestern advances on the dumbest foul since Chris Webber. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Dumbest move since Chris Webber called the timeout in the national championship game. Boneheaded, just complete brain fart. What happened, I'm sure you all saw, but Vanderbilt was up one and Matthew Fisher Davis decided to foul with 10 seconds left. 45 feet past half court from Northwestern's basket and they end up losing by one. Unbelievable move.

While subjective, the foul is widely considered one of the biggest 'brain farts' in NCAA tournament history, comparable in impact if not profile to Webber's timeout.
Push
Mar 17, 2017
#22246
Big CatBig Cat

Northwestern is the greatest tournament team in college basketball history because they are undefeated

For a limited time, [Northwestern] are undefeated in tournament history. [They are the] best tournament team ever.

Technically correct at the moment of speaking (1-0), but satirical in nature. They lost their next game to Gonzaga.
Void
Mar 17, 2017
#6373
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I'm officially done with people laughing at Bill Murray just for being Bill Murray

I don't hate Bill Murray at all. I hate what Bill Murray has become. I was a year ahead of the curve on this. So last year when I said this, you guys were like, what's going on? Bill Murray's the best. And now I think people are starting to realize that just because Bill Murray shows up at your bar mitzvah drunk doesn't mean he's pulling off some great comedic stuff. I'm just done with people laughing at Bill Murray for being Bill Murray.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.