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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Mac Jones is the most NFL-ready rookie quarterback in his class

One thing that I've heard and I love this line of dialogue. People saying, you know what, Mac Jones, he's not going to be the best rookie quarterback, but he's the most NFL-ready rookie quarterback right now.

Mac Jones was the only rookie QB to lead his team to a winning record and the playoffs in 2021, validating this take in the short term.

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Win
Aug 30, 2021
#9484
Big CatBig Cat

Nebraska football is a complete and utter dumpster fire under Scott Frost

Nebraska is a complete and utter dumpster fire. I don't know what you do. They, I don't know if you saw the graphics... but Scott Frost is now nine and 18 in big 10 football games, zero bowl games. He has the second worst record of any head coach in Nebraska history. And it's a complete failure.

Scott Frost was eventually fired in September 2022 after continuing to struggle, confirming the 'dumpster fire' assessment.
Void
Aug 30, 2021
#9485
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nebraska needs to run the dirtiest, most unethical strength and conditioning program to win games

Seriously, if you're the next Nebraska coach, just buy all the steroids, just get all the steroids. If you get caught, I guarantee you that Cornhusker fans will not give a shit. If you get caught running the dirtiest strength and conditioning program in the history of college sports... it would be less embarrassing if you're Nebraska to get caught cheating than it is running whatever you have been running for the last 10 years.

Clearly satirical; obviously not a serious recommendation for the university, though it highlights the desperation of the fanbase.
Win
Aug 30, 2021
#9486
Big CatBig Cat

Brett Bielema will be a good coach at Illinois

I credit to Brett Bielema because I actually think he's going to be a good coach at Illinois. And he plays Bret Bielema ball... that drive to start the second half where he was like, I'm just gonna run the ball down your throat for 75 yards was vintage Bielema.

Bielema has led Illinois to respectable seasons and bowl appearances, generally being viewed as a successful hire for the program's standards.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.