Freddie Kitchens is a dummy whose bad play-calling cost the Browns a winnable game.

Freddie Kitchens, you're a dummy. Wow. Yeah, you're a dummy. That was weird. dum-dum. That was one of the most... it was very bad play calling forth and nine.

I don't trust Matt Patricia with a lead or in the fourth quarter.

Matt Patricia twice now late game situations get super conservative and does the old like I'm trying not to lose not trying to win. He did it with the Cardinals game and it felt like the same thing this one. I don't trust him with a lead. I don't trust him in the fourth quarter.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl this year.

The Atlanta Falcons are done. The Atlanta Falcons are finished. If the Atlanta Falcons win the Super Bowl this year, I will cut off the tip of my pinky from the nail up.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.