NFL Week 3, Fastest 2 Minutes, Recap Of Every Game, The Pinky Team Is Announced, And A Name Roast

Freddie Kitchens is a dummy whose bad play-calling cost the Browns a winnable game.

Freddie Kitchens, you're a dummy. Wow. Yeah, you're a dummy. That was weird. dum-dum. That was one of the most... it was very bad play calling forth and nine.

The Minnesota Vikings are officially in the Done Chain.

My Done Chain, by the way, is the Vikings... I'm done hanging off of two and one because I got balls. That's why. Because Kirk Cousins, I'm that confident. This was the ultimate Kirk Cousins game.

Derek Carr will be benched or injured before the Raiders return from their 48-day road trip.

Will Derek Carr be the starting quarterback when the Oakland Raiders play their next game in Oakland?... I'm going to say it. Derek Carr will not be the starting quarterback for the Oakland Raiders when they play the next game in Oakland.

John Elway is an idiot who is ruining his legacy as the Broncos GM.

John Elway is an idiot. John Elway is a smooth idiot. If you're Broncos fan, tweet us your real thoughts about John Elway at this point. Is he at the point where he has soured your memories of John Elway?... You win two Super Bowls, but dude, you stink.

Mike Gundy will leave Oklahoma State to coach the Carolina Panthers in the NFL.

I want to put this out there in the tickler file for you... Mike Gundy taking an NFL job next year... Mike Gundy is going to Houston... or the Vikings or the Panthers. I think Gundy's wanted to go to the NFL for a while.

Frank Gore's longevity at 36 is more impressive than Tom Brady's.

Frank Gore, he's 36 years old. He's never going to stop... This would be a take: Frank Gore and his age is more impressive than Tom Brady and his age... a running back shouldn't be playing at 36.

The Buffalo Bills will win 10 games this season.

I'm going to say it. Bills are winning ten games.

Daniel Jones is electric and is a live version of Eli Manning.

Daniel Jones, electric. Daniel Jones is electric... The difference between Daniel Jones and Eli Manning was so fucking apparent... Daniel Jones, he looks like the difference between an alive person and a dead person.

Anyone named 'Chase' is limited to being an SEC quarterback, a NASCAR driver, or an American Ninja Warrior course builder.

We realized that if your name is Chase... it's essentially SEC quarterback, NASCAR driver, and American Ninja Warrior course builder. That's it. That's it. Could you imagine being like, 'here's my doctor, his name is Chase'?

Jim Harbaugh has lost the 'juice' and will return to the NFL in the next couple of years.

I think Jim Harbaugh is going to go to the NFL in the next couple of years... His teams just don't look like Jim Harbaugh teams anymore. He's lost the juice that was like his defining quality... He feels like he's cheating on himself running this type of offense.

Wisconsin is the best college football team in the country right now.

I've officially got my hopes up for the Wisconsin Badgers season. As I sit here right now, I think they're the best team in the country.

If you live in the South, you must cancel your wedding if it is scheduled for November 9th.

PSA. If you're getting married on November 9th, and you live anywhere below, let's say Kentucky. You need to cancel your wedding right now. Because your wedding will be cursed.

Joe Maddon will not return as the manager of the Chicago Cubs.

Joe Maddon out as Cubs manager... Joe Maddon will not return as manager of the Cubs. What's your Source? My brain.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl this year.

The Atlanta Falcons are done. The Atlanta Falcons are finished. If the Atlanta Falcons win the Super Bowl this year, I will cut off the tip of my pinky from the nail up.