PMT DB
PMT DB
NFL Week 3 Recap: Daniel Jones' Debut and the Pinky Team
Week 3 is in the books, and the vibes have shifted across the league. We kicked things off with the Fastest 2 Minutes, featuring PFT Commenter delivering a masterful Adam Vinatieri Schiavo joke that really set the tone for an R-rated Boomer and TJ style recap. The Sunday night game saw the Browns fall to the Rams in a game that felt like it was there for the taking if Cleveland had anything resembling a coherent plan on offense.
Freddie Kitchens and the Pinky Promise
Big Cat didn't hold back on the Browns' head coach after some head-scratching decisions, specifically that fourth-and-nine draw play that felt like a white flag.
Big CatFreddie Kitchens is a dummy whose bad play-calling cost the Browns a winnable game.
Freddie Kitchens, you're a dummy. Wow. Yeah, you're a dummy. That was weird. dum-dum. That was one of the most... it was very bad play calling forth and nine.
Speaking of giving up, the Atlanta Falcons are officially that team for Big Cat this year. After watching them rack up 16 penalties and generally look like they've lost their sizzle, it was time for the Done Chain to come out. But we’re raising the stakes. If the Falcons somehow win the Super Bowl, Big Cat is losing a digit.
Big CatI will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl this year.
The Atlanta Falcons are done. The Atlanta Falcons are finished. If the Atlanta Falcons win the Super Bowl this year, I will cut off the tip of my pinky from the nail up.
Lions, Vikings, and Quiet Excellence
The Lions are officially frisky. They went into Philly and escaped with a win, though Matt Patricia's tendency to get conservative with a lead is starting to become a recurring theme.
Big CatI don't trust Matt Patricia with a lead or in the fourth quarter.
Matt Patricia twice now late game situations get super conservative and does the old like I'm trying not to lose not trying to win. He did it with the Cardinals game and it felt like the same thing this one. I don't trust him with a lead. I don't trust him in the fourth quarter.
On the other side of the NFC North, the Vikings got a win over the Raiders, but PFT Commenter has seen enough of the Kirk Cousins experience to make a bold move on the Done Chain, even at 2-1.
PFT CommenterThe Minnesota Vikings are officially in the Done Chain.
My Done Chain, by the way, is the Vikings... I'm done hanging off of two and one because I got balls. That's why. Because Kirk Cousins, I'm that confident. This was the ultimate Kirk Cousins game.
Meanwhile, in Indy, Jacoby Brissett is making everyone forget about Andrew Luck's retirement by simply playing efficient, winning football. He’s not flashy, but he’s getting the job done while everyone else is focused on the bigger names.
PFT CommenterJacoby Brissett is a very good but 'quietly good' quarterback.
Jacoby Brissett had a 310 yard game. He's got probably the quietest—if this if Jacoby Brissett played 15 years ago, we would think he was an amazing quarterback. He's good. Yes, he's very, very good. But he's like quiet good.
The Era of Daniel Jones and Frank Gore's Immortality
Daniel Jones made his debut for the Giants and looked like an actual human being who enjoys playing football, which is a stark contrast to what we've seen from Eli Manning lately. He was running for touchdowns and making plays with his legs that Eli hasn't made since the Bush administration.
Big CatDaniel Jones is electric and is a live version of Eli Manning.
Daniel Jones, electric. Daniel Jones is electric... The difference between Daniel Jones and Eli Manning was so fucking apparent... Daniel Jones, he looks like the difference between an alive person and a dead person.
Over in Buffalo, the Bills moved to 3-0. While the defense is the star, Frank Gore continues to defy the laws of aging. At 36, he’s still hitting gaps and picking up five yards a carry, which is arguably the most impressive feat of longevity in the league right now.
Big CatFrank Gore's longevity at 36 is more impressive than Tom Brady's.
Frank Gore, he's 36 years old. He's never going to stop... This would be a take: Frank Gore and his age is more impressive than Tom Brady and his age... a running back shouldn't be playing at 36.
The Great Name Roast and College Chaos
A twitter spat with a fan named Chase led to a deep realization about the limitations of that specific name. Big Cat and PFT Commenter broke down the only acceptable career paths for anyone named Chase, and unfortunately,
