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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nick Mullens is the ultimate backup gunslinger because you always want to watch him

Nick Mullens... he's the ultimate like backup gunslinger. Right. Yeah. I don't think a team will ever commit to Nick Mullens as being like the guy ever. But he's fun. At least you'll say this about Nick when he plays, you wanna watch the game because he's gonna do some crazy shit.

Mullens' subsequent performances in 2023 continued to feature high yardage and high turnovers, confirming his status as a high-variance backup.

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Win
Dec 18, 2023
#29124
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jaguars are currently allergic to the end zone

they had the debacle at the end of the half where the Jaguars are just allergic to the end zone until they, they hit that deep strike. But I have no idea what Doug Peterson was thinking at the end of that half. No, it was, it was all time.

The Jaguars lost 23-7 and did indeed struggle significantly in the red zone during this specific game.
Loss
Dec 18, 2023
#12494
Big CatBig Cat

The Bengals are a scary team of destiny with Jake Browning

Now I'm, I'm back to being like Bengals team of destiny. Nick Foles, Jake Browning... the Bengals are, I, I can't believe that the Bengals are like actually kind of a scary team.

The Bengals finished 9-8 and missed the playoffs in a crowded AFC, so they weren't exactly a 'team of destiny' this year.
Push
Dec 18, 2023
#29125
Big CatBig Cat

The 2023 AFC playoffs are so wide open that no result would shock me

The a FC. There's no rhyme like the a FC playoffs. I will not be shocked pretty much with any team that gets to the super Bowl at this point. Yeah, you could, you could see.

While the AFC ended up being won by the Chiefs (a very standard result), the path featured many unexpected contenders, making the take 'partially correct' in its assessment of the landscape.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.