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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nick Saban is going to coach Alabama forever

[Nick Saban] is gonna be there forever. He's probably not gonna die ever. He's probably like, he's gonna be like Ted Williams' head just frozen inside somebody else's body playing call plays there for the next 25 years.

Nick Saban retired from Alabama on January 10, 2024, making the 'forever' and 'next 25 years' prediction incorrect.

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Loss
Oct 12, 2022
#13094
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Travis Kelce could score four touchdowns every game if the Chiefs really wanted him to

I feel like Travis Kelce, if the Chiefs really, really wanted to, he could score four touchdowns every single game.

Kelce had 4 TDs in this game but did not repeat this feat. Scoring 4 TDs every game is physically and statistically impossible in the NFL.
Void
Oct 12, 2022
#13095
Big CatBig Cat

Patrick Mahomes should be the all-time Monday Night Football quarterback

I do think that [Patrick] Mahomes should just be all-time quarterback... Mahomes is going to play on Monday Night Football every week until they lose. And then the team that beats them deserves to get the Monday Night Football crown.

This is a subjective proposal for entertainment value and can't be factually correct or incorrect.
Void
Oct 12, 2022
#23172
Big CatBig Cat

Arrowhead Stadium is one of the last true home field advantages left in the NFL

[Arrowhead Stadium] is one of the last true home advantage places in the nfl. So shout out to Chiefs fans because they were so fucking loud.

Crowd noise stats and win/loss splits generally support Arrowhead as a top-tier home field, but 'true home advantage' is subjective.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.