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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Once you hit your 30s, you are never going to experience ten days with no pain

The rule is 10 days with no pain [for Ben Simmons to return]. I got news for you, buddy. Once you hit your thirties, you're never going to experience 10 days with no pain. It's just constant pain.

While hyperbolized for comedy, the general sentiment of chronic aches in one's 30s is a widely shared subjective experience.

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Win
Apr 25, 2022
#8310
Big CatBig Cat

Jason Tatum is as good as Kevin Durant right now in their respective careers

I thought that going into it, when we talked to Russillo, I was like, everyone's talking about Kevin Durant. Is there a chance that Jayson Tatum is just as good as Kevin Durant right now in their respective careers? Cause obviously Kevin Durant's a little older, a lot of injuries. Like this series, [Tatum] has been the better player. Not even, that's not even debatable offensive and defense.

The Celtics swept the Nets and Tatum outscored Durant while defending him heavily. Tatum went on to make 1st Team All-NBA that year.
Win
Apr 25, 2022
#20864
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I am officially putting my stamp on it: the Celtics are for real

Game two is when I just realized that the Celtics are for real, I'm not officially putting my stamp on it. That's a PFT stamp. The Celtics are for real.

The Celtics went on to make the NBA Finals in 2022, proving they were indeed 'for real'.
Void
Apr 25, 2022
#20865
Big CatBig Cat

I would take Draymond Green in a fight against any set of brothers

Draymond has, has the irrational confidence that I don't think it can be stopped against anyone... I'd take them against [the Jokic brothers]. I would take against any set of brothers.

Purely subjective hypothetical.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.