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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

People catching and eating cicadas at baseball games will be a viral trend this summer

We're gonna see more and more, I predict this summer of just cicada cam. Just people just grabbing a cicada and eating it on camera. . . normalize it.

Cicada eating did see a minor spike in viral videos during the 2024 double-brood emergence.

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Void
May 24, 2024
#25085
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jalen Brown is the best player on the Celtics except for almost every statistical category

I can definitely smell a narrative that's building. There are gonna be people that ask like, is Jalen Brown really the, the leader of this team? Is he the best player on this team? And aside from the player efficiency rating, scoring field goal percentage and defense and dribbling with your left wind shares and all the other advanced stats, except for all those, he is the best player on the team.

This is a satirical take on a subjective debate. Statistically, Tatum usually leads, but Brown had the better game/series at this specific moment.
Win
May 24, 2024
#18102
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Celtics-Pacers series might be a sweep because of Tyrese Haliburton's injury

I do think that they're gonna beat the Pacers... No, I'm saying like in game. Don't get crazy in game three. I think it, it might even be a sweep because Halliburton's probably not gonna play.

The Celtics did sweep the Pacers 4-0.
Win
May 24, 2024
#25086
Big CatBig Cat

The Boston Police Department giving the Pacers an escort is proof the series is over

The reason why this series is over is after the game, Rick Carlisle, thank the Boston Police for escorting the Pacers team bus today... Do you think there's any chance if the Boston Celtics or the Boston Police thought the Pacers posed any type of threat, they would escort 'em and give them that type of treatment? That is a full sign that they know this series is over.

The Celtics did indeed sweep the Pacers, making the 'series is over' claim correct.

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Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.