Justin Tucker would be a first-round draft pick today

If Justin Tucker was in the draft tomorrow, he has to be first rounder. And I know that sounds crazy. Someone has to, some stat nerd has to do like a deep dive on just the amount of points that the Ravens get in terms of edge wise. The fact that they're the minute they get past the 50 yard line, it's like, alright. As long as we don't turn the ball over, it's an automatic three points.

The Ravens should run a triple option offense with Justin Tucker kicking everything inside 70 yards

They should set up the nastiest offensive line possible have maybe two really good running backs and then just run wild cat down the field and then kick field goals with Justin Tucker. ... just let [Tucker] kick inside 70 yards every time until he misses one.

The Colts are the 'AFC Vikings'

The Colts are just the AFC Vikings at this point where every single game you watch it. And you're like, this team is good. They can beat anyone, but they will eventually find a way to fuck up at the worst possible time.

The Brewers are what baseball fans say they want

The Brewers are everything that I think most people say that they want in a baseball team now. The knock against the direction baseball's been going for the last 10 years is you strike out, you hit home runs. And that's the way that you do it with the Brewers.

The Broncos would have won with the quarterbacks reversed

If quarterbacks were reversed tonight, who wins? Broncos. I think Drew Lock on the Broncos would've won tonight.

The 24-team playoff is the ongoing Savannah-ification of sports

It's the ongoing Savannah-ification of sports in America. It's a sad day.