Dirk Koetter is a trash head coach

I think I officially am saying Dirk Koetter's trash. And I'm basing this off one game that I watched. It was a primetime game... Dirk Koetter, you are in the trash pile.

There are only two tiers of NFL quarterbacks: those who suck and those who can win a Super Bowl

NFL quarterback situation, there's no tiers. There's no elite and non-elite. It's just either you suck or you can win a Super Bowl. And Jameis Winston will, in my estimation, will ever be a really good sucky quarterback.

Tom Brady is basically the Washington Capitals of football because he only wins meaningless regular season games

Tom Brady, congrats, I guess, on winning a bunch of meaningless games. When are you going to win the big one, dude? Regular season quarterback. He's basically the Washington Capitals of football.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.