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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Russell Wilson acts like a seventh grader who is in love for the first time

This is the behavior of a seventh grader who's in love for the first time... I just don't understand why you have to tell the world constantly that you love your wife.

This is a subjective characterization of social media behavior.

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Mar 13, 2017
#27512
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A 10-seed needs to win at least one game to 'make some noise' in the tournament

So, hey, there are a couple 10 seeds out there that could make some noise... We don't know what noise means, but it depends. It's like on a sliding scale, if a 15 seed comes within 10 points of beating a two seed, they made some noise... But if a 10 seed, they have to win at least one game to make some noise.

This is a subjective definition of a sports cliche.
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Mar 13, 2017
#27513
Big CatBig Cat

Darren Rovell is un-American for not filling out a March Madness bracket

Shout out Darren Rovell does not fill out a bracket. So that is a March Madness tradition for him telling the world that he doesn't fill out a bracket and he's un-American and basically a terrorist.

The claim is hyperbolic and satirical.
Win
Mar 13, 2017
#11695
Big CatBig Cat

Wisconsin got screwed by the NCAA Tournament selection committee with an 8-seed

I am biased, but Wisconsin got fucked... they're an eight seed which I'm fine with because they haven't played well but Minnesota is a five seed and Wisconsin beat Minnesota two times this year.

Wisconsin was indeed an 8-seed despite sweeping Minnesota, who received a 5-seed. Wisconsin advanced further in the tournament (Sweet 16) than Minnesota (First Round).

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.