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Oct 3, 2018
#1388
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Showtime Mahomes is a great nickname and it has to stay

[Patrick Mahomes] is Showtime Mahomes. Jason Witten gave him that name, and I think it's got to stay. It's such a bad nickname.

While the nickname didn't really become his primary moniker (Magic Johnson remains the definitive Showtime), the name persists as a secondary label for Mahomes.

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Win
Oct 3, 2018
#1387
Big CatBig Cat

The Bears are back

The bears are fucking back, okay? That's number one. The bears are back. The bears are awesome. The bears are good. The bears are great. The bears are back.

The 2018 Bears won the NFC North and went 12-4, their best season in years.
Loss
Oct 3, 2018
#1389
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jason Witten will be on the Booger Mobile by the end of the season

Bold prediction. Jason Witten's going to be on the Booger Mobile by the end of the season. They should put him both on the Booger Mobile.

Witten stayed in the booth for the duration of the season and did not join Booger on the sideline crane.
Win
Oct 3, 2018
#1390
Big CatBig Cat

The Pittsburgh Steelers are in a lot of trouble

I'm not a Steelers fan. Steelers, they're in trouble. They're in a lot of trouble.

The Steelers missed the playoffs in 2018, finishing 9-6-1, confirming they were indeed in trouble.

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Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31796
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31800
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31802
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.