The only consistent teams you can trust in the NFL are the Eagles and the Patriots

The only two consistents are the Patriots and the Eagles. So the only two teams at this point in the season where you can confidently say I would trust those teams.

The Saints are a really good football team

The Saints are really, really good. And I think it helped that they were playing against Jameis Winston today... the only two teams at this point in the season where you can confidently say I would trust those teams [Eagles and Patriots] and maybe the Saints.

The Falcons' Super Bowl hangover is real

The Falcons, Super Bowl hangover, real. Not to brag, but we called that. Remember over the summer when they had a rash of articles that were like, hey, these Falcons, they're going to bounce back... they've put it behind them, which is exactly what someone who is rattled by the Super Bowl would say. And it's proving true with how shitty they play week in and week out.

JMU may not win again until the dog-poop bettor returns

JMU probably won't win another football game until that guy logs back on.

The Wizards are a one-through-eight seed team

I feel confident in my one through eight seed. Love that for the Wiz.

The Falcons can expose the 49ers defense

They might not actually be as good as we think they are on defense. I don't hate the Falcons at all in this game.