Tom Brady un-retired because he didn't want to share his Hall of Fame induction with Ben Roethlisberger

Tom Brady saw the writing on the wall. He's like, five years now. I don't want to get my [Hall of Fame] ceremony cut by big Ben [Roethlisberger]. So I'll just cuck the kids and stuff.

Tom Brady will play for the Raiders under Josh McDaniels

My theory is that Tom Brady wants to play for the Raiders for [Josh] McDaniels who's now the head coach of the Raiders, his old offensive coordinator... Pioli being very weird and cryptic on NFL network today about whether or not Tom Brady was going to come back and play for the bucks. Like he knew something.

The West is the toughest region in the 2022 NCAA Tournament

I think that the west is the toughest region right now. There's landmines in the west.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.