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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Texas Tech will beat Michigan State because Tom Izzo is overrated

I am going to go with Texas Tech... Based on Tom Izzo being overrated. So I'm taking Texas Tech. Also, their defense is really, really good. Admittedly, I've watched one of their conference tournament games, and then I've watched them every game in the NCAA tournament, and their defense is fucking awesome.

Texas Tech defeated Michigan State in the Final Four.

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Push
Apr 5, 2019
#4293
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Virginia will beat Auburn by a lot

I like Bruce [Pearl]. I think that they're going to get beat by UVA. By a lot, I think. I think that UVA is a very, very, very, very, very good team with a fan base that I really don't want to see win the national championship. But I think they're a much better team, so I think it's going to be UVA.

Virginia won 63-62, so they won but not 'by a lot'.
Loss
Apr 5, 2019
#4295
The MizThe Miz

The Cleveland Browns are going to the Super Bowl and they will win

When they got Odell, I called every one of my friends and said, we're going to the Super Bowl. There's no doubt... They're going to the Super Bowl and they will win. I am not dangerous. I woke up this morning and I felt dangerous, just like Baker Mayfield does every day.

The 2019 Browns finished 6-10 and missed the playoffs.
Loss
Apr 5, 2019
#24091
The MizThe Miz

Freddie Kitchens and Baker Mayfield have a special chemistry that will make the Browns a winning team

I look at Baker Mayfield, his chemistry with Kitchens... now that [Kitchens] has the reins, I think he's going to be able to do it. I really do.

Freddie Kitchens was fired after one season (6-10), and the 'special chemistry' evaporated quickly.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.