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The 2016 Cubs are the best team in MLB history and will sweep the World Series

I think this might be the best baseball team in the history of Major League Baseball, and I think that there's no chance that anything bad could happen to them this year. Like, they're going to cruise. I think it's going to be four-game sweep in the World Series.

The Cubs did win the 2016 World Series, making the 'best team' claim arguable, but they did not sweep (won in 7 games).

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May 9, 2016
#27506
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bob Costas is passionate about every sport he covers except for Sunday Night Football, where he sucks

Everything that [Bob Costas] attends, that's the kind of passion that Bob puts, except for Sunday night football. He sucks at that. He's like, 'hey, America, knock it off with the guns.' And then everyone's like, 'oh, shit, we should probably get rid of our guns.'

Subjective opinion on broadcasting quality and personality.
Void
May 9, 2016
#10761
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Bryce Harper is a coward for taking intentional walks instead of swinging at pitch-outs

I actually think that Bryce Harper is a coward for not swinging at any of those pitches. Say what you want about Vlad Guerrero, but the guy would take a cut at a pitch out. My question is, if Harper doesn't like it so much, why does he put a stop to it and just take a running start and just groove one of the meatballs that's thrown outside?

This is an inherently subjective satirical take on player behavior.
Void
May 9, 2016
#27507
Big CatBig Cat

Dusty Baker's toothpick look is a 'I'm better than you' power move

Dusty's got the biggest gut in the game... the one thing I respect about Dusty and I've always respected, he's a toothpick guy. And I'm publicly in the market to be a toothpick guy because it's a very hard look to pull off, to just always have a toothpick in. He'll have an interview and he'll have a toothpick in, which is kind of like 'I'm better than you. You don't even deserve for me to take this toothpick out of my mouth' move.

Subjective opinion on a coach's style and attitude.

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Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.