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Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 49ers are a 'good, good football team'

I think we need to actually give more credit to the 49ers. Yes, because the 49ers are a good, good football team. The difference between Kyle Shanahan's offense and Freddie Kitchens was like they were playing two totally different games.

The 49ers finished 13-3 and reached Super Bowl LIV.

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Loss
Oct 9, 2019
#12910
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Baker Mayfield's silence on the Richard Sherman handshake controversy speaks volumes

[Baker Mayfield] has not addressed the handshake controversy brought to light by Richard Sherman. I would say his silence speaks volumes.

Richard Sherman eventually admitted that the handshake actually happened and he had exaggerated the snub, making Baker's silence irrelevant to a fake controversy.
Win
Oct 9, 2019
#25365
Big CatBig Cat

Freddie Kitchens has 'coordinator face' and 'coordinator bod' rather than looking like a head coach

[Freddie Kitchens] has got coordinator face. He's got coordinator bod. He does not look like, I don't know what, [a head coach]. Maybe he needs to go. We need to [make over] football coaches that have coordinator face into head football coaches.

Kitchens was fired after one season (6-10 record), supporting the idea that he wasn't cut out to be a head coach.
Loss
Oct 9, 2019
#12912
Big CatBig Cat

I am not a believer in the 2019 Baltimore Ravens

The AFC North stinks. I'm not a believer in the Baltimore Ravens.

The Ravens went 14-2 in 2019 and Lamar Jackson won the NFL MVP award unanimously, proving they were a top-tier team.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.