Justin Tucker would be a first-round draft pick today

If Justin Tucker was in the draft tomorrow, he has to be first rounder. And I know that sounds crazy. Someone has to, some stat nerd has to do like a deep dive on just the amount of points that the Ravens get in terms of edge wise. The fact that they're the minute they get past the 50 yard line, it's like, alright. As long as we don't turn the ball over, it's an automatic three points.

The Ravens should run a triple option offense with Justin Tucker kicking everything inside 70 yards

They should set up the nastiest offensive line possible have maybe two really good running backs and then just run wild cat down the field and then kick field goals with Justin Tucker. ... just let [Tucker] kick inside 70 yards every time until he misses one.

The Colts are the 'AFC Vikings'

The Colts are just the AFC Vikings at this point where every single game you watch it. And you're like, this team is good. They can beat anyone, but they will eventually find a way to fuck up at the worst possible time.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.