If you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead an NFL team

I'd like to see them do the combine in the nude... make them jerk off into a cup, test their swimmers out. If you're a quarterback, if you can't motivate your sperm to swim, you can't lead a team.

Mitch Trubisky screwed himself by measuring 6'2" because of Hue Jackson's arbitrary height cutoff

Hugh Jackson, his cutoff for quarterbacks, 6'2". So Mitch Trubisky kind of screwed himself. He should have slouched a little bit, hoping that he went at 6'1"... [Hue] just said, if the quarterback's not 6'2 or taller, I don't want him.

Patrick Mahomes' small hands are a reason not to pick him in the draft

I also saw that Mahomes had small hands, so be careful of that. Don't worry about the fact that he played in a Kliff Kingsbury offense, and it was an air raid... His hands, a little undersized. That's why you shouldn't pick them. I actually like him. I think he actually would be good for them.

The Saints had the best loss of Week 1

I think this was the best loss of the week. Number two right now would be the Houston Texans.

Cam Ward may not be the guy

I want Cam Ward to be better than he is because he seems like he's locked in. He's a good story. I don't know if he's gonna be the guy or not. I want him to be. But every week I feel like I get further and further from thinking that he is.

The Dolphins will get their first win on November 1

November 1st is what I'm saying for the Dolphins' first win.