Matt Nagy is a coward for benching Mitch Trubisky with a 'phantom' hip injury

Matt Nagy, you idiot. You're a coward. He throws Mitch Trubisky under the bus with a phantom hip injury with the last possession of the game, bringing in Chase Daniel. And it is a joke. He's in over his head. He's a clown.

Chase Daniel is the 'sparklessest' quarterback in the history of the NFL

It was a bitch move taking [Trubisky] out there and putting Chase Daniel in to get the world's saddest spark. They were like, I want a spark. Then put literally anyone except for Chase Daniel in. He's the sparklessest quarterback in the history of the NFL.

The Bears season is officially over

The Bears season's officially done. The thing is a joke. And Khalil Mack, whenever you want to show up, that's fine too. You don't bench a quarterback at that point, though.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.