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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Capitals are going to be killed by the Rangers in the first round

Bad news is they have to play the Rangers who won the President's trophy, which is, you know, basically impossible to lose in the playoffs if you're that good of a team... there's like no chance that we can beat the Rangers, but I'm just glad to be there.

The New York Rangers swept the Washington Capitals 4-0 in the first round.

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Void
Apr 17, 2024
#3556
Big CatBig Cat

The Pelicans would have beaten the Lakers if Zion Williamson had stayed in the game

I think the Pelicans win that game if Zion stays in the game. They had, Brandon Ingram wasn't good... and Zion was like, I'm putting the whole team on my back. And he almost beat the Lakers by himself.

The game was tied 95-95 with 3:13 left when Zion exited; the Lakers eventually won 110-106. While unprovable, it is a widely held 'what if'.
Loss
Apr 17, 2024
#3557
HankHank

The Lakers are going to beat the Nuggets in their playoff series

I think they could beat the Nuggets... Championship experience, you know... [They've] got the best players of all time. Anthony Davis, All-Stars, All-NBA players. Why not?

The Nuggets defeated the Lakers 4-1 in the first round of the 2024 playoffs.
Void
Apr 17, 2024
#20654
Big CatBig Cat

The Sacramento Kings have no chance against the Oklahoma City Thunder if they match up in the playoffs

I don't think that they [the Kings] have a chance against the Thunder, but I want them to be good.

The Kings were eliminated in the play-in tournament by the Pelicans, so they never faced the Thunder in the playoffs.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.