Allowing private equity investment in NFL teams will make the league 10% worse.

The NFL is considering approving private equity investment in teams... It means it's gonna suck. The league is gonna get 10% worse because private equity, they're gonna come in and they're just gonna try to figure out how to streamline everything. They're gonna fire all the mascots.

The Chiefs will never win three Super Bowls in a row

Three in a row is really fucking hard to do... kind of the way you could also talk about it is there's 0% chance because it's never happened before. And if you know anything about gambling or life, if something's never happened, it will never happen.

The Chiefs will win at least 12 games this season

I like the Chiefs over this year. 11. I might ride. I might get in hard on that.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.