I still do not respect the Coronavirus

I still don't respect the virus. It's like a Ravens Steelers thing, like no love lost. I hate it so much. I want to beat the fuck out of it. It doesn't sound serious and I'm encouraging everybody to do everything that they can... but I still don't respect the virus.

Rudy Gobert's microphone-touching prank was just a harmless joke that I would have done myself three days ago.

I'm going to defend [Rudy Gobert] a little bit here. That's exactly something I would have done. That's exactly something I would have done three days ago. Now that I've understood the severity and what's going on, I would not do that anymore. But Rudy Gobert, I'm not going to just pile on this guy for doing something he thought was completely innocent; clearly it was not.

Duke canceled their season before the NCAA to upstage everyone like drama queens.

Duke, the biggest fucking prima donnas drama queens of all time, canceled their own season before the NCAA could trying to upstage everyone and be like, 'Look at me, look at us, we're Duke.' Then the tournament gets cancelled and then everyone gets to make the joke that Duke got eliminated first.

The 2026 World Cup final was boring and sucked.

It was boring ass soccer. It sucked. It made me thankful that the World Cup's over, that football's back. Now we can get back into real football, which I'm very, very thankful for. But that was actually, I think that was the best way to end the World Cup, because I'm totally fine with no more soccer now.

Fanatics Fest is a cynical place designed only to take money from fans.

It also seems like the most cynical place ever. Like, you can go to an autograph festival or a fan festival and you know that the guys are being paid to be there. And they're still like, happy to see, interact with you, all that shit. It just seems like every single thing about being at that place is just designed to take money from the people that are there.

Bryson DeChambeau is being targeted by selective rule enforcement.

I think that Bryson definitely did it and it's definitely against the rules. And he got caught for it and they enforced it against him because he's a bad boy. He's had some run-ins before. I don't think the R&A or whatever, I don't think they're particularly happy with Bryson right now.