The Cowboys' defense plays better when they have a backup quarterback like Ben DiNucci

It turns out that in a weird way is kind of good having a shitty quarterback playing because your defense gets this mindset of like we have to create turnovers, we have to stop everybody. Whereas before they're like, oh we got Dak, he's gonna throw for a million yards, I can take a couple plays off here.

I'm 90% sure the Cleveland Browns are going to make the playoffs

I'm pretty sure in part that the Cleveland Browns are going to make the playoffs. Yeah. No, I agree. I'm like, 90% sure that the Browns are going to be a playoff team this year and that's going to be a lot of fun.

The Tennessee Titans are a fraudulent football team

I'm going to use the F-word on the Titans. I think the Titans where a fraudulent football... I think they're fun when they were five and oh I was saying I don't think they're real because Ryan Tannehill, we should always stick with our gut on Ryan Tannehill.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.