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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Golden Knights and Panthers playing each other represents the 'Cocaine per Capita' championship

The two cities with maybe the most cocaine done per capita. Vegas, Miami playing against each other and saying like, oh, Brooks [Koepka] will be on his best behavior.

This is a hyperbolic comedic claim that cannot be verified by actual drug consumption statistics.

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Win
May 30, 2023
#11620
Big CatBig Cat

PFT's $10,000 bet on the Heat and Panthers was an investment with a 10% ROI

PFT, I gotta start with you because you have to feel incredible relief for your bet. The 10,000 to win a thousand when you bet the heat up three Oh and the Panthers Up three Oh cashes gotta be the biggest relief of all time.

The bet did indeed cash, providing the 10% return as stated.
Loss
May 30, 2023
#21676
HankHank

Derek White's Game 6 buzzer-beater felt like a series-winning moment

Game six was unbelievable. Just that win and the day after did, it did feel like a Game seven win. It felt like a series win. I was, I was basking at it. I truly was.

The Celtics ultimately lost the series, making the feeling of it being a series-winning moment incorrect in hindsight.
Void
May 30, 2023
#21677
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The 2023 Celtics' loss is as bad as being swept

I mean, the way that you won game six is almost better than winning the series. That was just such incredible finish... Game seven was game seven actually. It's true. And that was a good lesson. Yeah. Game seven is always game seven.

This is a subjective assessment of sports misery.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.