Birthdays officially start to suck at age 26

At what age do birthdays just start to suck? Oh, I'd say 26. Everything from there is downhill.

Ray Lewis' Hall of Fame speech was the most ridiculous ever while being exactly what we expected

Ray Lewis just now finished his Hall of Fame speech, which was the most ridiculous Hall of Fame speech while also being exactly what we all expected from Ray Lewis. I actually was getting upset, but I couldn't stop watching because it was so ridiculous.

Nick Saban and Bob Stoops are the ultimate football guys for ignoring a robbery while drawing up plays

They're so invested in making their points that they don't notice when a man walks into the bar with a shotgun and robs the place. So they were out having drinks, diagramming football plays, and they were completely oblivious to a dude robbing the bar with a gun. That is an ultimate football guy story.

The Saints had the best loss of Week 1

I think this was the best loss of the week. Number two right now would be the Houston Texans.

Cam Ward may not be the guy

I want Cam Ward to be better than he is because he seems like he's locked in. He's a good story. I don't know if he's gonna be the guy or not. I want him to be. But every week I feel like I get further and further from thinking that he is.

The Dolphins will get their first win on November 1

November 1st is what I'm saying for the Dolphins' first win.