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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL should have a 'surprise' flex schedule where opponents aren't revealed until Monday morning

They announce your week one opponent today, but then you don't find out who your week two opponent is until the Monday morning after you play that game. So it's a flex schedule all year long. It's a surprise all year long.

This is a procedural suggestion that has not been adopted.

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Win
Apr 20, 2018
#11399
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Pelicans are getting revenge on the Blazers because they took their hurricane logo personally

New Orleans saw that the Blazers have a hurricane as their logo, and they took it personally. And they're pissed off. Yep, they took all their angst out.

The Pelicans did sweep the Blazers in 2018, though obviously not due to the logo.
Loss
Apr 20, 2018
#11400
Big CatBig Cat

LeBron James and the Cavaliers will not win the Eastern Conference this year

We also have LeBron, who they're not winning the East... But when you score 40 and can barely win the game, your teammates stink and your team stinks.

The Cavaliers actually won the Eastern Conference in 2018, defeating the Celtics in 7 games.
Void
Apr 20, 2018
#11401
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Timberwolves are the saddest team in the world

The Timberwolves are the saddest team in the world. They are pretty bad. There's no really redeeming quality to watching them play.

Subjective opinion on team 'sadness,' though they did lose 4-1 to the Rockets that season.

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Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.