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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Padres will always finish second to the Dodgers, even with an all-star team

I know this makes no sense, but you could put an all-star team on the Padres and I would just assume that they would finish second.

In 2021, the Dodgers finished 2nd (106 wins) and the Padres finished 3rd (79 wins). PFT was actually too optimistic about the Padres, as they didn't even finish second.

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Loss
Dec 30, 2020
#17690
Big CatBig Cat

Cam Newton has to retire after his performance against the Bills

The Buffalo bills, our fucking weapon, Josh Allen, when in Foxborough beat what was left with the Patriots Cam Newton I mean, I think he has to retire. I don't really know what at this point, it, it, it was sad.

Cam Newton did not retire. He played for the Patriots for the rest of 2020 and signed with the Panthers during the 2021 season.
Loss
Dec 30, 2020
#17689
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Buffalo Bills will beat the Chiefs in the playoffs and go to the Super Bowl

I think that the Buffalo bills could very well beat the Chiefs. In fact, it definitely can. I think that the Buffalo bills will beat the chiefs in the playoffs. The Buffalo bills are going to the Super Bowl.

Incorrect. The Chiefs defeated the Bills 38-24 in the AFC Championship Game on January 24, 2021.
Loss
Dec 30, 2020
#17693
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Dwayne Haskins will start another game in the NFL

I guarantee you, I will bet you a thousand dollars that [Haskins] will start another game. It might be a situation where he's a back up and gets in at the start because of an injury.

Incorrect. Haskins spent time with the Steelers but was tragically killed in April 2022 without ever making another NFL start.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.