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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Ravens' analytics guy is just a plant to hide that Warren Sharp is actually feeding them data

His name is really Warren Sharp, and we all know him... John Harbaugh's front. He's probably got like a dummy that sits up in the coordinator's box so you can point at him... It's really Warren Sharp. I'm very convinced of that.

The Ravens have a legitimate internal analytics department; Warren Sharp is an independent consultant.

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Loss
Nov 27, 2019
#17029
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Baltimore Ravens are my Super Bowl pick

The Baltimore Ravens have been my Super Bowl pick since three weeks ago, I believe.

The Ravens finished 14-2 but were upset by the Titans in the Divisional Round; the Chiefs won the Super Bowl.
Win
Nov 27, 2019
#17031
Big CatBig Cat

The Rams are broken and suffering from a Super Bowl hangover

The Rams definitely, there was a point in that game where they just flat out quit... Their offensive line has been bad. Jared [Goff], obviously, a personal friend... he's got to play better, but the whole team kind of looks a little broken... I think losing the Super Bowl the way they lost it, those kind of things kind of stick with you for a year, and it takes a year to reset it.

The Rams went from 13-3 in 2018 to 9-7 and missed the playoffs in 2019, confirming the 'hangover' narrative.
Win
Nov 27, 2019
#17030
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Mark Ingram isn't getting enough credit for the Ravens' success

I'm going to say you know who's not getting enough credit is Mark Ingram. And people are going to start talking more about Mark Ingram as people dig further into the Baltimore Ravens. But Mark Ingram is – he runs with authority.

Ingram was a Pro Bowler that year and crucial to their record-setting rushing attack.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.