Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this season

Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this year. Love to hear it. Fraud. No power in that guy.

The new MLB rules have made baseball watchable again

Overall, I think that what they've done is they've turned baseball into a game that more people will Congrats. We did it. We made baseball watchable again.

The Tampa Bay Rays will win the World Series

You know what? I'll say it. This is the year. I think the Tampa Bay Rays are gonna win it all. They've been knocking at the door where like they'll have a couple years where their advanced analytics will always work... I think they're coming back up this year.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.