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Loss
Oct 30, 2023
#22861
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Seahawks are a legitimate, for-real football team

I think the Seahawks are for real... the Seahawks have actually found themselves in that position where they, they're in first place in the division... I did not see the 49ers losing. They are in first place right now.

The Seahawks finished 9-8 and missed the playoffs, while the 49ers reclaimed the division and went to the Super Bowl. They were not 'for real' as division contenders.

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Win
Oct 30, 2023
#7631
Big CatBig Cat

Kirk Cousins was on the verge of the MVP conversation before his season-ending injury

The big story from this game was the unfortunate injury to Kirk Cousins, which sucks beyond belief... he also was playing awesome ball. Like he was on the precipice of being in the MVP conversation because the Vikings started to win games... and it all comes crashing down with the Achilles.

Cousins led the NFL in passing touchdowns (18) at the time of his injury and had a 103.8 passer rating, putting him firmly in the statistical conversation.
Loss
Oct 30, 2023
#7632
Big CatBig Cat

The Packers are officially a bad football team

I foolishly thought this was the spot to back the Packers because it was the Vikings off a big win against the Niners. The Packers look terrible. Turns out the Packers are just dog shit... yeah, the Packers are bad. Yeah, they're officially a bad team.

The Packers eventually righted the ship, finishing 9-8 and beating the Cowboys in a playoff game, meaning they weren't 'dog shit' for the full season.
Loss
Oct 30, 2023
#7633
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Sam Howell is the franchise quarterback for the Washington Commanders

Sam Howell is the guy. He was amazing today. He might've been the best quarterback in the NFL this entire week... Sam Howell is the fucking guy. He's the most guy ever. Oh, okay. He is the guy. The guy a guy... he's the goddamn motherfucking guy bitch.

Howell was eventually benched later in the season for Jacoby Brissett and the Commanders traded him to Seattle in the offseason to draft Jayden Daniels.

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Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31796
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31800
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31802
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.