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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Statue of Liberty was a bad gift from the French because of high maintenance and war obligations

The statue of Liberty was low key, a pretty shitty thing for the French to do to us. They just made this giant sculpture outta bronze. And it's like, here, you have to clean this every day or else it's gonna turn green and it's a big fucking woman and you ha it's so big that you have to find an island to put it on and oh yeah. It's also gonna make, you have to fight on our side in every war that happens from now until the end of eternity.

This is a humorous, satirical interpretation of history.

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Void
Jul 25, 2022
#14379
Big CatBig Cat

Historic NFL franchises should not use alternate helmets because they look 'candy ass'

The bears unveiled their new helmets. It's now cool for every team. ... that doesn't mean every team needs to do a alternate helmet and the bears kind of were the first team to show up and be like, oh yeah, not every team needs to do this. ... historic franchises should just keep with their regular helmets because there's no reason we're... we're not the Jaguars. ... It's Mickey mouse. It's it's it's candy ass.

This is a subjective aesthetic opinion about team branding.
Push
Jul 25, 2022
#21453
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Bears and Commanders Thursday night game will be a low-scoring, boring affair with multiple coaching and kicking errors

it is gonna be against the commanders and the greatest Thursday night game that this podcast has ever seen. ... I feel like that is a vibe where it's like the coach [Eberflus], he's gonna lose two challenges. The wind is gonna blow the ball off the kicking tee at least twice in the course of the game. ... It's gonna be one of those that basically has a running clock the entire time, because both teams are just gonna run the ball and nothing exciting is gonna happen.

The Oct 13, 2022 game was indeed a low-scoring 12-7 mess with multiple mistakes, including missed field goals and poor red zone play, though the specific 'wind blowing ball off tee' didn't happen literally.
Win
Jul 25, 2022
#14380
Big CatBig Cat

There should be extra enthusiasm for Aaron Judge hitting 62 home runs because it is the post-steroid era

Aaron judge has been mashing race to 62. I want everyone to get involved in that because it does look, I'm a, I'm a pro steroids guy. So I, I definitely think Barry Bond's the best player of all time. And I also think his records stand, but there should be like an extra enthusiasm. If someone can hit 62, just knowing that we're not in the steroid era anymore.

Judge did go on to hit 62 home runs later that season, breaking the AL record.

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Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.