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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Toronto Maple Leafs were the second-best team in the NHL this year because they were the only ones to take the Panthers to seven games

I mean, if you had to pick a second best team, PFT, it's probably the Toronto Maple Leafs. 'cause they took 'em to seven. [PFT]: I was about to start the show by congratulating the Toronto Maple Leafs on being better than the Edmonton Oilers.

The Oilers made the finals, while the Leafs were eliminated earlier; series length against a common opponent is a humorous but logically flawed metric for 'second best.'

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Void
Jun 18, 2025
#19695
Big CatBig Cat

Connor McDavid is currently incapable of winning the big one

I feel bad for [Connor McDavid]. He's an incredible player, but as of right now, I'm just going on the facts that I see — has not won the big one. And we're being a little tongue in cheek, but obviously this will be the, the, the prevailing story of can he win the big one.

Subjective 'legacy' talk. While McDavid hasn't won a Cup in this timeline, 'incapable' is an extreme framing for the best player in the world.
Loss
Jun 18, 2025
#19696
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Indiana Fever need to hire a Charles Oakley-style enforcer to protect Caitlin Clark

This is actually a great opportunity for somebody that's like into the bench player on the Fever, become the Caitlin Clark defender. Just start learning boxing, jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai, whatever. And then just be an enforcer. Be the Charles Oakley... that just goes out there and beats the shit out of girls that try to go out at Caitlin.

The Fever have not officially designated a specific 'enforcer' for this role, though teammates do defend her.
Void
Jun 18, 2025
#21401
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Jalen Williams is currently the 'Batman' of the Oklahoma City Thunder over Shai Gilgeous-Alexander

SGA was great, but it was, it was, it was the JW show. Should we, I think we, maybe we should think about having the conversation Batman robin. Last night [Jalen Williams] was Batman.

This is a subjective assessment of a single game's performance vs. overall team hierarchy.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.