I still do not respect the Coronavirus

I still don't respect the virus. It's like a Ravens Steelers thing, like no love lost. I hate it so much. I want to beat the fuck out of it. It doesn't sound serious and I'm encouraging everybody to do everything that they can... but I still don't respect the virus.

Rudy Gobert's microphone-touching prank was just a harmless joke that I would have done myself three days ago.

I'm going to defend [Rudy Gobert] a little bit here. That's exactly something I would have done. That's exactly something I would have done three days ago. Now that I've understood the severity and what's going on, I would not do that anymore. But Rudy Gobert, I'm not going to just pile on this guy for doing something he thought was completely innocent; clearly it was not.

Duke canceled their season before the NCAA to upstage everyone like drama queens.

Duke, the biggest fucking prima donnas drama queens of all time, canceled their own season before the NCAA could trying to upstage everyone and be like, 'Look at me, look at us, we're Duke.' Then the tournament gets cancelled and then everyone gets to make the joke that Duke got eliminated first.

The Chiefs' window never closed

I don't think we ever actually closed the Chiefs' window. I think Mahomes was just in bed because he was injured, far away from the window.

Mahomes will be back to himself by season's end

By the end of this season, Mahomes is gonna be back to being Mahomes.

The Oregon loss could turn Dan Lanning into a psychopath

I don't think that Dan Lanning has slept since that loss. I think Dan Lanning has turned into an absolute psycho because of this loss. He's sick. It actually might be a dangerous thing for the rest of the Big Ten that Oregon lost that game.