Hugh Jackson is a quarterback guru who will get RG3's career back on track

This is how RG3 he's with Hugh Jackson now Jackson's going to get him on the right track he's a guru he's a quarterback guru

Eddie Lacy might show up fat to training camp overnight

There's a good chance that [Eddie Lacy] might become fat overnight and be fat again. This is going to be an ongoing storyline throughout the entire camp.

Free agent signings coming from Super Bowl teams won't be as good on their new shitty teams

The free agent signing who's maybe coming from a Super Bowl team and he's bringing a winning culture... [is] probably not going to be anywhere near as good as he was with the Super Bowl team because he was surrounded by really good players. And now he's on your shitty team, surrounded by trash.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.