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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards will be a fun play-in team next year with Anthony Davis and Trae Young

Fast forward one year from today... I think we're gonna be the fun playing team... Anthony Davis and Trae Young... That's a good young core add in a high draft pick next year will be like the eight seed.

The likelihood of both Davis and Young joining a rebuilding Wizards team simultaneously is near zero.

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Loss
Apr 17, 2026
#30236
Big CatBig Cat

Andre Drummond might be better than Joel Embiid

Andre Drummond... might be better than [Joel] Embiid. Max, I'm not gonna lie... He still has his appendix. Best ability is availability.

While Drummond is more durable, Embiid is a perennial MVP candidate and objectively the better player; the claim is hyperbolic.
Void
Apr 17, 2026
#30237
MaxMax

Beating the Celtics would be the equivalent of winning an NBA Finals for the Sixers

I've also already said if we beat the Celtics, that's, that's an NBA finals. I don't care what happens the rest of it.

This is a subjective emotional assessment of what the victory would mean to him as a fan.
Void
Apr 17, 2026
#30238
Big CatBig Cat

The Orlando Magic are a total bummer to watch

The [Orlando] Magic are the biggest bummer in the world to watch. Yeah. That team stinks. They are, they just play just basketball. That's not fun to watch. Paolo [Banchero] stinks. Paolo is so bad. He was like seven for 22. It's like my turn your turn offense.

The entertainment value of a team is subjective, though Banchero is widely considered an ascending star despite this critique.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.