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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Tiger Woods would have won the 2021 Masters if he had been able to play

I think Tiger [Woods] would have won this Masters, I'll be honest with you. I agree.

This is entirely speculative as Tiger Woods was recovering from a major car accident at the time and could not compete.

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Apr 12, 2021
#14662
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Hideki Matsuyama should serve blowfish liver at the Champions Dinner next year

If I'm Hideki, I serve blowfish liver and let the chips fall where they may maybe thin out the field a little bit. See who gets poisoned.

Matsuyama served a menu including Miyazaki Wagyu, but did not serve poisonous blowfish liver.
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Apr 12, 2021
#14663
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Brooks Koepka is a hero for playing the Masters on one leg

We should also say the real winner of this Masters is Brooks Koepka. Competing on one leg like a warrior. Walking paralyzed man. Exactly. So the fact he was even able to get out there and play two rounds of golf. That's impressive.

Koepka did play through a significant knee injury, but 'hero' status is a subjective characterization used for comedic effect.
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Apr 12, 2021
#21532
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nick Faldo has a more 'nappable' voice than Jim Nance.

I like your take, by the way, that Nick Faldo might have a more nappable voice than Jim Nance. I think he does... when I hear Faldo, it's like you just hit me in the face with a gram of Dramamine.

The 'nappability' of a broadcaster's voice is a subjective preference for listeners who enjoy sleeping through sports.

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Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.