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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Todd Bowles is a top 10 NFL head coach

Todd Bowles coming back pulls my top 10 NFL head coach... sometimes you just say things out loud. If you have a take and then you look dumb for a couple of years after the fact, but then if you wait long enough, guess what that takes coming back around.

Since taking over, Bowles has a losing overall record as a head coach, though he did win the NFC South.

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Win
Apr 1, 2022
#10808
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

UNC has a 70% chance of beating Duke in the Final Four

My own proprietary algorithm has the chances of UNC winning at 70%.

UNC defeated Duke 81-77 in the 2022 Final Four.
Void
Apr 1, 2022
#10810
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Coach K's career would be a disappointment if it ends with a loss to UNC

I just think that it would be the best possible ending to his career if he were to lose against UNC... The perfect ending would be if you were to lose against his arch rival, UNC. You'd have to say his career would be a disappointment if it ended—

Coach K lost to UNC in his final game in the Final Four. Whether this makes his career a disappointment is subjective, though many fans share this sentiment.
Loss
Apr 1, 2022
#10812
HankHank

Duke is going to smoke UNC in the Final Four

I'm very excited. I think [Duke is] going to smoke UNC... I just know how it goes. We know how it goes. We've done it before, you know, we'll do it again.

Duke lost to UNC 81-77.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.