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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Trent Williams is the rare offensive lineman who is actually fun to watch play

Trent Williams is a joy to have on your team. He's just a fucking bully. He's also the rare offensive lineman where you have fun watching him play. Like after the ball was snapped, my eyes would just go to Trent Williams because it's like this guy, we might throw an interception, but Trent Williams might punch a guy in the throat.

This is a subjective opinion about entertainment value.

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Void
Feb 25, 2026
#20258
Big CatBig Cat

Tua Tagovailoa's market value is non-existent relative to his contract

Everything's on the table for the Dolphins. Tua could be a fullback. What would you... What do you think the Dolphins would say yes to for a trade for Tua? Like a sixth round pick for Tua? A jugs machine? I don't know what the hell would Tua's market be?

The Dolphins' internal view on 'everything being on the table' is a subjective claim about team strategy.
Loss
Feb 25, 2026
#24424
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Joe Schoen is effectively fired if he has to publicly clarify that he hasn't been fired

If you ever have to describe the fact that, like, by the way, I'm not fired. You're pretty much fired. Right? Nobody has ever said, 'Hey, just so you know, technically I'm not fired,' and then they got an extension after that.

Joe Schoen remains the Giants GM through the 2024 and 2025 seasons, making this a failed prediction in the short term, though the take is grounded in the irony of the statement.
Loss
Feb 25, 2026
#24425
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Malik Willis will be traded to the Arizona Cardinals

I speculated before... regarding Malik Willis to Arizona.

Malik Willis was traded to the Green Bay Packers in August 2024, not the Cardinals.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.