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Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Triple-doubles are actually a sign of a bad team and poor role players

20 of the 23 NBA players who recorded a triple-double have been eliminated from the playoffs. [PFT]: So, turns out triple doubles are actually bad. Really bad... These guys are jacks of all trade, masters of none. You need role players on your team.

The stat was true at the time, but the conclusion that triple-doubles are 'bad' is satirical and logically flawed.

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Void
May 15, 2017
#13618
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Derek Jeter's face is starting to look like a baseball glove

He's slowly becoming a member of the Fat Face Club in retirement. That face, it's starting to get basketball shaped a little bit... His face looks like a baseball glove now.

Whether Jeter's face looks like a baseball glove is purely subjective.
Loss
May 15, 2017
#13619
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Yankees are actually better without Derek Jeter

Kind of strange how the Yankees started winning after [Jeter] retired. Are the Yankees better without Derek Jeter?

While the Yankees did transition into a successful young core (Judge, Sanchez) shortly after he retired, Jeter won 5 rings; saying they are 'better' without him is historically a stretch.
Void
May 15, 2017
#13620
Big CatBig Cat

The Warriors' championship will have an asterisk because they cheated by injuring Kawhi Leonard

The Warriors were dead, and then they decided to cheat and came back to life... I, for one, am very happy that this happened because now I'm ready to put an asterisk on the Warriors championship. Just like that. They had a cakewalk through the West. They ran into a hobbled Spurs team.

The Warriors did win the championship and went 16-1 in the playoffs. While the 'asterisk' is an opinion, they dominated regardless of Kawhi's injury.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.