A scorned Nick Saban is the scariest thing in sports

You basically watch Alabama do the old cement mixer on Clemson and just kick the shit out of them for 60 minutes. And [it] proved our theory that a scorned Nick Saban and upset Nick Saban is the scariest thing in sports.

Joe Flacco sucks — he's not elite, he's not good, he honestly just sucks

Joe Flacco sucks. He's not good. He's elite, maybe. No, no — honestly, he sucks.

The Bills will probably lose to the Jaguars in the wildcard round

The Bills are probably going to lose to the Jaguars, especially without Shady [LeSean McCoy]. But it's almost like the way that they broke the drought, if they had just broken it by being 12-4... it wouldn't have been that exciting.

The Rays are playing an exciting brand of baseball

It's a very, very exciting brand of baseball. And I'm gonna miss it when it's over. So I did not wanna sweep, so thank you.

The Cowboys are a bad football team

The Cowboys are a bad football team. And I can't wait for people to start to say like, this is when, look at the schedule. Dallas is gonna put some wins together.

Performance-enhancing drug shortages may explain dominant teams falling off

There started to be severe, severe supply chain issues when it came to performance enhancing drugs and peptide shipments coming to the United States. I just think it's interesting.